Hey Nostradamus! By Douglas Coupland

human consciousness. I come down. I get cranked again, but I suspect the new amphetamine is cut with
milk sugar, so I enjoy it less the second time. I think, Wow, have I really watched two sunrises and
two sunsets without having slept? I come down hard. I buy clonazepams from Persian twerps. I sit in
a caféand scribble on pink invoice papers.
Off to Mom's. Got to rescue Joyce.
* * *
It's the next morning, or at least McDonald's hasn't switched over to their lunch menu yet. A fast-food
breakfast; drops of grease have elevated this morning's pink invoice paper into a stained-glass document.
My brain feels like a cool, deep lake. Did I really sleep for twelve hours? I'll even make it to work by
noon today, which will probably put Les in such a good mood that he'll forget the string of six
near-satanic messages he dumped into my answering machine.
Well, nephews, when I went to my mother's place last night after Starbucks, your mother, Barb, was
there, leaning on the kitchen counter, and the big discussion was about why Reg is such a bastard, a
subject my mother has given much thought to.
As I walked in the door, they both took one look at me, and Mom said, "You - into the shower right
now. When you're finished, change into something from the guest room closet. I've got some cream of
cauliflower soup and French bread here. You'll eat some of that, and then you're going right to bed in the
guest room. Got it?"
From the bathroom, I heard some of what my mother and your mother were saying.
"Well, you know, the initial attraction was that his family grew daffodils - still grows them. I thought that
was so amazing - I thought only good people could grow daffodils."
"What would bad people grow?"
"I don't know. Bats? Mushrooms? Algae? But daffodils -they're the most innocent flower on earth.
They're a member of the onion family. Did you know that?"
"I didn't."
"Learn something new every day."
"Aren't narcissus the same as daffodils?"
"They are. Most people think they're different. But they're not."
"Wouldn't a narcissus be, well, not quite evil, but not innocent, either - vain?"
"Reg had an answer for that. Do you want to hear it?"
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