Shadow's Son by Shirley Meier, S.M. Stirling and Karen Wehrstein ...

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"Sometimes."
"Well, I don't think that's right, either. If you feel that way, why don't you talk to me about it more?"
"I knowyou don't think that's right. But shedoes . She thinks you have to, to be a warrior. She thinks I
was mean and cruel before, it just needed polishing. But I… well, maybe I was mean to Piatr, I know I
was. But… well, no one taught me it was wrong then, everyone else was doing it, he was just a nasty
witch my Pa gave me to torment, that's all I knew, and I… I didn't know what was bothering me, so I
took it out on him. I didn'tknow it was cruel; I didn't know what cruelwas , den. I vass chust a stupid
girl!" Suddenly tears muddied the clear young voice. "I vasn'tmean ! I was chust ignorant! I didn't know
how much it hurt!She vould haf donevorse !" Cautiously, ready in case the girl recoiled, Megan touched
her trembling shoulder, then pulled her into her arms. "Khyd-hirdismean ! She'sreally mean! She knows
vat she's doing!"
"Ah, Sovee, Sovee. She does as she was taught and does not know better either, though she's so much
older than you are. She says crude and cruel things and doesn't see how she hurts Shyll or Rilla with her
ignorance, even me sometimes. She doesn't think there's a problem, though she tries—stumbling, bruising
souls, stepping on hearts." Megan hugged the girl, smoothing hair back off her face. "It helps if you think
of her like the pups, all big feet and not knowing their own strength. Take what good she can give you
and leave her hard-headed idiocies to me. I'll handle them as best I can."
"The pups are just dumb animals, they can't help it. They aren't my teachers, claiming to know
everything. Andshe can't do anything toyou , so you don't know how it feels!"
"Look," said Megan, taking Sova by the shoulders. "Talking to me isn't helping, that's clear enough. If
she—when she—comes back, you are going to have to take it up withher . You are a warrior; you can
speak up."
Even in the darkness, Megan could see the girl's lips thin and eyes widen. "But Im not really a warrior, at
least she doesn't think so, because she hasn'tsaid I am and I'm only a warrior if she says I am, right?
Besides I couldn't…" Her voice thinned and trailed off.
"Couldn't what?"
"Couldn'ttake her. She doesn't listen to anyone she doesn't think could… at least make a good account
of demself. She doesn't think anyone who can't fight is any good, deserve anything but pissing on, or
being made a slave of one whocan ."
This might crack my family right in half. My family that isn't yet complete. Maybe it never will be;
if Shkai'ra doesn't come back, if Lixand dies. Megan controlled the shudders, so Sova wouldn't feel
them. "Then tell her," she said hoarsely, "tell her I'm behind you on this and she'd better listen. She may
surprise you and listen anyway because you're family."
"You're behind me? Againsther ?"
Megan felt as if a clawed hand had wrapped around one side of her heart, another clawed hand around
the other, and they were pulling, tearing it in two. "For herlistening . And paying some damned good
attention."
She heard Sova's hands fidgeting, nails scratching the bedroll. "If," the girl said quietly. "If she comes