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The Straight & Narrow 30 OCTOBER 2009 - *Gary �nally saw blue skies and green grass. The �rst thing he did was to pick his daughter up from school. Feeling guilty that he had been absent from her life, how must she have felt seeing other kids’ fathers waiting outside the school gate… For the �rst few months after release, Gary had dif�culty �nding a job. It was heart wrenching to see his 80 year old mother bending over washing dishes at a nearby hawker center to feed him and his daughter. Gary was desperate, but he vowed to not abandon his family again. However, Gary did not even know how to write a resume; worse he didn’t really have much to write on his resume. Unlike most people, he has little work experience, no awards and no quali�cations. Negativity then starts to set in... There was also another problem. Gary had no friends. He didn’t want to revisit old friends simply because he found himself going back to jail whenever he was with them. But addicts go back to old habits if there is nothing to �ll the void… In prison, everyone was the same. They had the same clothes, the same haircut, the same slippers and even the same type of spectacles. But outside the name of the game is being different, being you. The longer he stayed unemployed, the stronger the urge to take shortcuts to an easy life. Trouble is, these shortcuts usually led him to prison in the past. Gary took up a job as a bouncer in a night club at Clarke Quay. It was a practical decision as he couldn’t stay unemployed. Yet he also knew having a job in a night spot was not wise for a recovering addict. He desperately wanted to not repeat the mistakes made so many times before. He decided to give resume writing another shot. He listed down what little quali�cations he had. While still working as a bouncer (after all, it paid the bills) he waited patiently to get called for interviews. He did get some calls and eventually got an offer. Gary is now holding a sales position at a local gym. Though he is grateful to his employer for giving him a chance, he realises the important steps he himself took to prevent his reoffending. We would like to share some of them with you… 1 OVERCOME EMOTIONS Gary knows of friends who reject offers because it doesn’t pay a lot, or when it is labour intensive and then complain there are “no jobs”. “Just because I am handicapped by a tainted past, society is not going to give me any special treatment,” Gary says. Jobs aren’t dif�cult to �nd at all. It is expectations that are set too high that often cause great disappointment. Gary conditioned himself and took on the �rst offer that came his way. He did not want to lose the opportunity to accumulate whatever experience he could so that with time, he would have more to write on his resume. Life doesn’t stop just because Gary is past his thirties and doesn’t have a successful career. If he continues to wallow in self pity, he would never move forward.
2 HAVE A FOCUS Taking care of his family is his priority now. He would like his mum to �nally have life a little easier and also wants to be a role model for his daughter. Before he was aimless in life; something a single parent of a young child could ill afford to do. 3CUT OFF ALL NEGATIVE TIES WITH THE PAST Revisiting his old haunts only tempted him on the well trodden path to more trouble and suffering. During hard times Gary’s mind often dragged up memories of when he used to splurge on alcohol and women with the money he made from dealing drugs. A real battle royal took place within him to force these mental images deeper so they didn’t torment him all the time. 4FIND A MENTOR Gary looks up to a fellow ex-offender who is now happily married with a family. He keeps in touch with his mentor and turns to him for advice and encouragement when the going gets tough. Gary hopes to pursue a degree in psychology and wants to do social work one day. It is his way of saying “thank you” to those who have given him a second chance. *Gary not his real name
Page 1 and 2: MICA (P) 021/02/2010 ISSN 1793-8562
Page 3: Learning to Stay Out of Trouble Lat
Page 7 and 8: Vincent is a very strict coach, as
Page 9 and 10: This year marks a decade of working
Page 11 and 12: The Key to Grasping a Second Chance

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