Læserne med på råd - CBS OBSERVER

2 0i n - h o u s e n e w s p a p e r f o r co p e n h a g e n b u s i n e s s s c h o o lstresses as much as possible. I dialed back on volunteerand social obligations. I cut down work hours. Itook a break from language school. I fast tracked homerepairs and packed in maximum study and writing timebefore the baby’s due date rolled around. This last partwas critical – I had a large paper due on the same dayas I had a baby. The best-laid plans of mice and men…I know that I will remember the exact moment, 5:49Copenhagen time, when 3560 grams of joy packed intoa 52 cm long frame knocked me right off my feet, forever.Nothing compares. Nothing gets close. It does notget any better than that.This was, of course, a full ten days before Jane’s (Momand Mom’s from here on) due date rolled around.No, I had not finished work on my paper. Finishingthe project would prove to be a test of my writing partnerspatience and my own struggles with functioning onfour hours of sleep a night.Mom gave birth at Frederiksberg Hospital, which wasfor us a remarkable venue for our life-changing event.The atmosphere was quaint and what most Daneswould note as a bit dated but ‘hyggelig’ nonetheless.The bonus for me was that I was able to stay thereovernight, just two blocks away from Solbjerg Plads towhere I stole away twice for a couple hours to meetmy group for writing and research sessions.William Tylander III and CBS OBSERVER proudly present Baby Frida - here to teach you all about parenthood while at CBS.Is the glass half-full or half-empty? That is not the questionfor me. My cup runneth over.Since I picked up sticks in South Florida and came toDenmark two years ago, I have hit the ground running.Odd jobs, odd living arrangements and learning a veryodd language were the rule my first couple monthshere.I started out with no language skills and no useableeducation for the Danish job market. My lovely wifeJane took over the reigns as the family breadwinner.I was to embark on a hopefully steep and potentiallyprofitable learning curve. The plan was to make myintegration-period an educational one and pursue businessuniversity schooling here in Copenhagen.I can’t say that things started making more sense aftercoming to CBS. I first applied for several programs.When I contacted Admissions before the start of the2008-school year, they told me I was not accepted andthat they had neglected to send me notice.So I applied to a new program, the BA inInformation Management. On being admitted I wasfurther inducted into Danish student life via the IntroWeek. I attended a picnic and cocktail party and a fewlectures on what the study would entail, but declinedthe weekend retreat. At sage age of 29 and in the processstarting a new bachelor study I figured I had hadmy fill of debaucheries with the under 25-set.This would prove to define me as the old man in theclass. Without the benefit of drunken bonding, I wasat the mercy of my writing partners to remind me ofnames of classmates. I might be a curmudgeon, butnot necessarily a wet blanket and have since endearedmyself to some with the occasional Thursday beerbefore rushing home to dinner with my wife.Psych surveys have shown changing jobs and movingto rank among the highest of stress events. If you’vemet me during this last year at CBS you know that Ioperate on the edge. Come exam time I’m about as funto be around as a bad case of food poisoning. So whenmy lovely wife surprised me with the news that our littletwosome was gaining a third, I’ll confess to gettingwobbly knees and a noticeable case of high-flying steelbutterflies in the gut.b i l l ’ s b a b y b l o gb y w i l l i a m t y l a n d e r I I IThe thought gave me considerable pause. I – strangerin a strange new land on a strange new study programand a student salary in a small two-room apartment– was now to raise a child? Would we have enoughmoney? Space? Time? With the number of balls I wasalready juggling between studies, language school,work, marriage and restoring a run-down apartment,throwing a baby in the mix just seemed crazy. Okay, Icould go with crazy. I mean, I’m a CBS student…I shared the news of our little addition with my writingpartners and classmates. I even received the obligatorycongratulatory gestures. But it was increasingly clearthat being not only a husband, but also a father on abachelor program would further distinguish me in…orfrom… my class. Talking to classmates between classesabout the trials and tribulations of Dad-hood mostlymeets a blank look and stories of weekend drinkingadventures and reflections on website architecture. Ihaven’t quite worked out if this is some form of selfdefense… some kind of psychological method of contraception,or not.There did, however, prove to be a discrete fellowshipof newly baked parents at CBS. My class alone boastsno less than two other Dads and five Moms. We don’tshare tips on getting over hangovers in class, we sharetips on putting baby to bed and even the odd hand-medownbaby clothes.Taking the news to my study administration wasanother matter. Surprise! In a country where every possibleeffort to ease early family life is embedded intothe Danish culture (maternity & paternity leave, homenurse visits, day care from age six months etcetera)getting dispensation for postponing exams is reservedexclusively for new Moms.What just happened to equal-opportunity non-sexistDenmark? The only option for Dads is simply notshowing up at the exam, taking a failing mark andsigning up for the retake.This option was not acceptable. I have a family tosupport as soon as possible. So I’ll be putting my newrole as student/Dad to the test twice this January.Leading up to the big event, I sought to mitigate myIt has now been a month since my life was turnedupside down. Looking back, I can hardly recognize thecarefree dude who used to fill my shoes. We got thepaper in on time and are reasonably satisfied with theresults, considering.Like the paper, all my other concerns that seemedso pressing have melted away faster than an outdoorice rink in Greenland after the COP 15. I used to considermy life full – full of friends, family and activity. Inever imagined I was missing a thing. But with BabyFrida in my life, I have never felt so complete. Now Ican’t imagine a life without her, and I never could haveimagined loving anything so much. She doesn’t saunteror stroll, she just lies there and burbles, but every moveshe makes and sound she utters absolutely amazes me.So what does my new role as a student/Dad in thisstrange land hold in store for us? It will certainly bedifferent from my life growing up in the States. MyMom was not the stay-at-home type, and neither is mywife, but here there will be no au pair lending a handwith diapers and late night feedings.That does not, however, mean that strangers won’t beplaying a big role in our little one’s early development.Institutionalized day care isn’t suggested but rather therule, and after a year or so of maternity leave – thankyou very, very much Danish welfare state and generousunion benefits – we’ll be depositing our pride andjoy in the hands of the state to see to it’s pedagologicalneeds. We will also never be at a loss for helpful hints(parentals and in-laws notwithstanding) for tiny tykes,as a nurse makes bi-weekly visits to check on BabyFrida’s health and Mom and Dad’s dwindling sanity.If you ask me now what stresses I have, I might wearilyanswer that sleep deprivation has taken a hold. Sure,there are diapers, midnight feedings, lots of laundryand taking care of Mom, my-wife-who-used-to-be-Janeand who at times feels that she is little more than awalking feedbag. But all cares and worries vanish withjust one look at baby Frida’s tiny sleeping form.In the coming weeks, if you see me in the hallwaysat CBS you will certainly notice a change. There is abounce to my step, and I carry my head a bit higher asmy chest is still impossibly filled with pride.But take a closer look. The telltale signs of Dad-hoodhave already taken hold; the dark bags and wrinklesgather around a very special twinkle in my eyes.1From game theory to playtime. From derivatives to diapers.CBS BA in Information Management-student andCBS OBSERVER freelance journalist, US ex-pat WilliamTylander III has turned columnist and Dad. Over the comingyear he will give us the skinny on bringing up babywhile studying at CBS – in this strange land and culture.